Secrets are easy to keep...except when you don't really want them to be secrets but you're afraid of how other people might react. Is it too soon, not soon enough? Perhaps the wrong time?
I think I have a date with a girl and New York City. I hope it's soon.
But I guess that's to be expected, what with school and everything. I feel like there's something I should be doing...something other than looking for Rogue. Does anybody know where she goes at night? I've stopped by her room the past few nights and she's never there. Last night I didn't even go by, I just assumed she wouldn't be there...so of course, I was surprised to see her standing outside my door this morning. Never thought I'd much like being domestic, making breakfast and such...man, am I dwelling on this.
I need a hobby. Or a job.
I needed a break. My head was spinnin’ in a thousand different directions and I could see where I wanted to go but didn’t have the courage to get there. She breeds insanity, I’m sure of it. I’ve never really had to deal with wantin’ something I couldn’t have. I pride myself on that, on being able to have anyone... and I could have her. I would take the pain just to touch her, and I have. It’s just not easy dealin’ with what could be forever when you’re a guy like me. Mon dieu, she really has gotten to me.
That’s why I went home. It’s not so much home anymore as just familiar streets, faces that nod and smile a little because they recognize you from way back when. That easiness that comes from so much time spent…well, I don’t suppose I spent a lot of time learnin’ about people for the good of things, did I? I tell myself I gotta change that, get on with life from the better perspective. I was worried that bein’ back there might change me, make me want that life back, but all I could think about was her...
Yes, this is me putting something in my little journal. No, I am not liking it.
Yes, I have been hiding and sulky. No, I will not explain further.
Rogue visited me though, and we talked and I told her I was going to get her a birthday present if she liked it or not. So I will be at her party (with a present).
Then, I was forced to go with her and meet Ali in the gym to work out. Was terrible, being forced to exercise with two lovely women. Oh, just simply awful.
When can we do it again?
I cannot find Rogue. Scott's motercycle is missing. I'm going out to look for her.